True Love, The Grimm Reaper, and a free pair of shoes

This was originally posted on my MySpace blog back in 2008. I still think I'm funny! haha


I think I need to update my profile. I’m sure you’re all aware that MySpace targets the advertising you come across specifically to you, according to your profile information. In my desperate attempt to have someone tell me who I am, I decided to see what MySpace thought by watching these banner ads at the top of my home page for the night. Here’s what I learned about myself through the eyes of MySpace:

Apparently, I NEED A MAN. But he can’t be just any man. He needs to be my true love. To help me discover this, I can take advantage of the ad for a true love calculator I saw displayed three times tonight which asked me the question: "Will True Love Be Yours?" Furthermore, I need to get over my timidity about interracial relationships. Five times I was told, "Say Bye Bye to Being Shy" by the interracial singles ad, and three times Interracial Singles encouraged me that "Love Has a Starting Point." Can you believe all this time I’ve been looking for love and never knew it started with an ethnic man? WOW! Now I know .

But, I better do it quick! There is a Grimm Reaper, sickle in hand, who has asked me twice tonight, "When Will You Die?" as the clock depicted spins wildly. Strangest thing, the hand of the clock appears to be some kind of a bone...maybe an arm bone?

Now, there is a chance that I’m not going to be able accomplish this quest! And MySpace ads, in their gracious and omniscient way, has decided that I need to go back to college. Specifically, the University of Phoenix, which has beckoned to teach me three times tonight.

Then, there is this chance that I might be mislead, because I am stepping out of my comfort zone with these interracial relationships which I am afraid of, and the clock is ticking, so I can always check to see if I’m on the right track. Three times it’s been suggested that I check to see, "Does He Love You?" And, if by some chance he turns out to be a violent lunatic (like the rest of my ex’s), then I can always run like hell in the free pair of shoes I’m going to get from Zappas.com!

Now, I ask myself - I ask you....what in the hell did I write in my profile?